The "Progressive" Ten Commandments

In yet another display of their intellectual bankruptcy and lack of originality, liberals have come up with their own "Contract with America." They call it (Are you ready?) "A Progressive Contract with America." (http://www.democracyforvancouver.org/?q=node/235 )

The following is a translation of the most recent liberal, I mean "progressive" ten commandments.

1) "We Will Bring the Troops Home"
TRANSLATION: We will cut and run in Iraq.

2) "We Will Crack Down on Corruption"
TRANSLATION: We will do a better job of covering our tracks while we still take money from lobbyists and corporate types. It's only morally objectionable when Republicans get caught doing it .

3) "We Will Make Public Officials Accountable"
TRANSLATION: Never mind Bill Clinton, Dan Rostenkowky, Jim Wright, Mike Espy, Ron Brown, Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, Cynthia McKinney et al.

4) "We Will Unleash New Energy for America"
TRANSLATION: Let India, China and Russia use up all the oil. Who cares about economic development? Let America's competitors surpass her. Why compete anyway? Incidentally, how do you like my new hand-cranked coupe?

5) "We Will Rebuild America First"
TRANSLATION: We will tax the hell out of everyone. When the rich shelter their income, we will go after the middle class. We know Joe Six-Pack doesn't make enough to pay tax accountants.

6) "We Will Make Work Pay Once Again"
TRANSLATION: We will squash entrepreneurship and destroy small businesses once and for all. Minimum Wage? Through the roof! Union membership? Mandatory! Taxes on businesses? Confiscatory!

7) "We Will Make Healthcare Affordable"
TRANSLATION: Government will take over health care. We will decide if you are sick and how sick you are. When you need life-saving surgery, plan on it six to eight months in advance. Pray you don't die before then. Oh, did I mention we will outlaw prayer?

8) "We pledge to strengthen Social Security"
TRANSLATION: We will do more of the same, dumping more and more money on a system already on the brink of bankruptcy. If it's broken, why fix it?

9) "We Will Keep the American Dream Alive"
TRANSLATION: We will be your nanny from cradle (those whom we allow to be born) to grave (those whom we do not euthanize). We will punish initiative, eliminate self-respect and extinguish self-reliance from the American landscape.

10) "We Will Provide Real Security for America"
TRANSLATION: Welcome to El Norte. Mi casa es su casa. "Si se Puede."